Failing With Grace

How job rejection, broken code, and being just on the edge of “yes” became the most honest part of my career so far

Originally posted on Substack

There’s a special kind of rejection that hits me differently. It’s not the polite auto-rejection you get when you apply to a job you weren’t that into anyway. No, what I’m talking about is the rejection emails that come after three interviews, an assignment presentation, and a “Thank You” note you actually proofread for once.

Those ones? Oof, those are the ones that truly leave their mark.

This post is for anyone who saw that email notification (always on a Friday) and instantly felt their stomach drop. For all of us who feel like one long round of “not quite”. For those of us still showing up with a resume, a browser full of job boards, and maybe, on the side, a VS Code application with a syntax error you can’t seem to find.

Hi, I’m Marlee. I see you. I am you. And we’ll be just fine.

The Job Hunt Is a Full-Time Job (That Doesn’t Pay)

I’ve been on the job market since being laid off, which is a sentence that’s been everywhere lately. It feels as though we’re all laid off and fighting for the same jobs. My days are structured, full of work, but not actually working. Send applications, tailoring resumes, tracking it all in a spreadsheet that I keep updating as if it’ll somehow hire me.

So when I make it through the screening call, the first round, the panel, the assignment, the fourth interview… and I start to feel hopeful, it hurts more to be told no. Every time I get closer to a yes, the no feels even worse.

Grace Doesn’t Mean You’re Not Mad

Every time I get that rejection email from a job, I start envisioning myself at, it’s jarring. It’s from a very kind, very real human. The one who answered my questions and debriefed after every round of the grueling process of interviewing. Somehow, I always imagine they’re only guiding me through the interview practice, and they’re my cheerleader on the inside.

And then I read that dreaded first line, “We were so impressed by you…” before letting me down easy.

You reread it, thinking maybe you read it wrong. You replay your last interview in your head. You remember how you absolutely killed the assignment, bringing innovation and effort. How you walked out of that final interview thinking that you could see yourself there.

And then:

“Unfortunately…”

You want to scream. You want to ask why. You want to say, “Are you sure?” But instead, you respond with grace. Because the person on the other end of that email is doing their job. They didn’t make the final call.

They might even be disappointed, too.

So you write:“Thank you so much for the opportunity, and for such a thoughtful process. I really appreciated getting to know the team and would love to stay in touch.”

You hit send. Then you cry. Then you move on.

Because grace doesn’t mean you didn’t want it. It means you chose to be kind anyway.

Learning to Code (Badly, Boldly)

While I continue to wander through the job boards, sending off my resume sometimes to the void, I’m learning to code on the side.

I’m not looking to pivot careers, but I am trying to have something that takes my mind off the job hunt.

Something I can control. It’s deeply unglamorous. Most of what I’m building doesn’t work the first, second, or fifth time. But when it does click and something finally connects, I feel pride in creating something that I wouldn’t have dreamed of a few months ago.

It’s a reminder that I can still build, learn, and grow. Even while waiting.

Redefining Progress

Progress is the farthest thing from linear. Sometimes it’s a well-written thank-you note that gets no reply. Sometimes it’s a one-line bug fix that takes 3 hours. Sometimes… It’s just showing up no matter what.

I’m learning to celebrate smaller wins:

• Getting a kind rejection and responding with honesty and grace.

• Finishing a course on React, even if I don’t understand everything yet.

• Waking up and sending another application.

The job will come. But in the meantime, I’m showing up for myself.

Failing Forward

“Failing with grace” doesn’t mean smiling through it all. It means staying open, staying honest, and holding space for disappointment without letting it take over.

If you're out there still applying, still showing up, still trying, you’re not behind. You’re in the thick of it.

And it matters that you haven’t quit.

So here’s to the near misses. The thoughtful rejection emails. The broken code. The brutal in-betweens.

We’ll look back one day and realize: this was the chapter where we kept going.

And that? That’s the story worth telling.